father,the Father, son: Lifeguards, Aquaman, and the Pirates

father,the Father, son: Lifeguards, Aquaman, and the Pirates: "Staring across the swimming pool, sun reflecting off the water, I see my 4 year old son climbing the ladder to the diving board in the...wai..."

Lifeguards, Aquaman, and the Pirates

Staring across the swimming pool, sun reflecting off the water, I see my 4 year old son climbing the ladder to the diving board in the...wait for it....DEEP END!!  My four year old Jake does not swim, in fact I think he would rather take his nap than put his face in the water!  Yet he climbs, and he walks the plank to the end of the board. No way will he jump in!?!?!  One, Two, Three...Splash!!! Nice catch!  You see, this was the final swim lesson of the summer. Though a reluctant "swimmer" Jake was blessed by an instructor he trusted. He jumped, she caught him, mom gasped, dad snapped a photo and Jake shot a thumbs up.  It was not until later that he admitted a huge amount of fear before he jumped.  "Why did you do it then?".  "Dad, my teacher wouldn't drop me!!".  A non swimmer, no face wet four year old jumps off the diving board in the deep end because he knows his teacher is there for him!! I have just finished my 25th year in education and there are teachers like this out there everywhere,  quickly building relationships of trust with children who count on them in their most fearful moments!  Teacher friends, never take that responsibility for granted and make their trust your yearly bonus!  Parents, we face these moments of "deep end" decisions with our children all the time. It takes bravery to be treading in the deep end every time our kids venture out onto the diving board contemplating the big dive. There are times we must be brave enough to tell them to back up. climb back down the stairs and meet them with a comfortable towel, a hug, and an "it's going to be ok!".  There are other times we need to let them dive without getting there face wet. A small risk but empowering. Other times we need to let them go under only to quickly bring them back to the surface...lesson learned the hard way bit knowing we are there for them.  Sometimes we need to show bravery by letting somebody else be the one they need.....blasphemy, I know but those situations, in the course of a lifetime will occur more often than not! Think about it, we are always "there" for our kids but they spend far more time living away from us than with us!    The beauty is that if we calculate these situations correctly and selflessly, rather than selfishly, we get exactly what we would all say we really want. We desire children who can self advocate, know when to trust and who to trust, an more importantly get the message that we believe they are capable of doing those things!  We walk a parental tight-rope, constantly trying to decipher when to step in and when to step back.  Be sure to always think with the end  in mind...is my decision going to help now and hinder later, or pay dividends later that will cause the child to say, "Dad, my teacher wouldn't drop me!"?
God bless!